Seven psychological reasons that prevent you from losing weight
It's no secret that different people's bodies react differently to the fight against excess weight.
Some, if they happen to gain weight, for example, after childbirth, illness or “due to nerves”, quickly and easily burn off the excess and continue to live happily ever after, as if nothing had happened. Others have been struggling with unnecessary pounds for years - and without any results. Only a few of these others, at the cost of severe restrictions and incessant labor, manage to maintain an acceptable form.
Remember the pictures from the school physics textbook illustrating stable and unstable equilibrium? On one, the ball rests steadily in the hole, and on the other, it barely balances on the slide: blow it and it will roll down. You might think that it’s the same with a figure: for some, the “slim” state is stable, and for others, it is unstable (for the latter, the “full” state is stable).
What does fat give us?
Have you noticed how many people, wanting to lose weight, achieve the opposite effect? Go to any women's forum and you will meet almost crowds of women on some kind of diet. Having gotten rid of several kilograms at the cost of painful restrictions, in the blink of an eye they regain what they lost, and even with an “addition”... and go on a new diet. Some have been walking in this vicious circle for decades, and every year their condition worsens: the body, from chronic abuse of it, seems to go crazy and generally refuses to respond to dietary experiments.
I’m not talking about those whose excess weight is caused by serious illnesses, and not about those who “lose weight” while lying on the couch in front of the TV with a piece of cake in their hand. I’m talking about healthy people who, as part of getting rid of excess weight, work hard and hard on themselves, show miracles of willpower and self-restraint (try sitting on kefir and apples for at least a week!), but to little avail.
Why don't they lose weight? Maybe because they don't actually want to lose weight? Maybe for some reason they need to remain fat, and the reasons for such a strange desire are hidden so deeply that they themselves are not aware of it, and all their dietary suffering is pure self-deception and “cleansing of conscience”?
What could be the psychological reasons for not wanting to lose weight?
1. The desire to become more respectable
Animals, preparing for attack or defense, puff up, raise their fur, and arch their backs to appear larger. A person, wanting to appear weightier and more significant, does essentially the same thing: “enlarges himself,” including by increasing his fat layer. After all, the subconscious does not understand metaphors and “acts” literally, and a fat person is obviously larger than a slender one.
2. Shyness
The strategy of a living being who feels inferior is to hide from danger, real or imaginary. Some animals dig a hole and hide in it, others change color, pretending to be a stump or branch. And in humans, the role of protective camouflage can be played by excess flesh, under which they hide themselves - defenseless, vulnerable and naked (as under an extra layer of clothing or under a shell).
3. Consequences of psychological trauma
This happens to those who were victims of sexual abuse or incest in childhood or early adolescence. “If I weren’t attractive, this wouldn’t have happened to me,” they reason (which, by the way, is completely wrong: plain women are just as susceptible to violence as beautiful women, if not more). And they come to the conclusion: “If I don’t want the horror I experienced to be repeated, I shouldn’t be attractive.” And they get fat.
4. Problems in relationships with men (women)
Standard situation: after several years of family life, the wife “moves” into curlers and a robe and gains weight, and the husband, of course, loses sexual interest in her. On the one hand, the woman understands that she needs to pull herself together and restore her shape, but on the other hand, she is mortally afraid: what if this doesn’t help? She will lose weight, but he will remain cold to her? After all, then she will no longer know what to do!
A similar logic applies to single women, those who are chronically unlucky with men. While remaining fat, they can take comfort in the fact that the problem is not them, but their extra pounds. And what will they console themselves with if the kilograms go away, but the problem does not go away?
5. Inability to trust
Many nations have fairy tales in which a prince, king or caliph goes to win the heart of the girl of his dreams, disguised as a poor man. So he becomes convinced that she fell in love with him, and not with his wealth or “official position.” Men are often suspected of saying that they “only need one thing,” and that they see and value in their girlfriends only a sexual object, and not high intelligence or outstanding spiritual qualities. Not very smart mothers tell their daughters about this, and feminists add that being a sex object is humiliating and shameful. The result is the same: plus size clothing stores are thriving. Because some women, having said goodbye to excess weight, lose the confidence that they love them, and not their beautiful figure.
6. Thirst for benefits and privileges
It's very convenient to be unhappy. Everyone pities the unfortunate man, they forgive him a lot, he seems to have the moral right to continuously demand attention, sympathy and understanding - it’s so hard for him! With him you need to be sensitive, tactful, delicate, give in to him in everything and let him go ahead. Well, a person who is crushing himself, unsuccessfully trying to lose weight, is, of course, very unhappy.
7. Lack of joy
Sweet and fatty foods improve your mood - this is a medical fact. And snacking on troubles with something tasty is a completely normal, healthy reaction of the body. Only for some, troubles happen from time to time, while for others, life in general is unpleasant: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - and you want to snack continuously. At the same time, for people who are prone to obesity, in order not to gain weight, it is precisely sweet and fatty foods that need to be strictly limited. If they have nowhere to “get” that pleasure that they are literally “malnourished” from, if there are no other sources of joy and pleasure in their life - of course, their strength will only be enough for a short spurt, and then melancholy and despondency will force them to return to “cheesecakes with mayonnaise” .
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Did you recognize yourself in one of these descriptions—or perhaps more than one? Or all these cases do not apply to you, but you have already tried half a dozen diets on yourself, and each time, having quickly lost weight, after a while you stopped fitting even into the clothes that you wore before the diet? Then maybe you should honestly ask yourself - why don’t you want to lose weight? And start the fight against excess weight from the head, and not with a “magic” diet or, excuse me, with some miraculous cleansing enema.
Weight Loss Goals - Set Measurable Goals
You need to set goals that can be measured, a great example is waist size or % body fat, but to measure it you need to have a fat analyzer scale at home.
Set high goals
Most people are afraid to set high goals for themselves; instead of high goals they set lower ones. Those that do not represent excellent motivation for them and only because of such erroneous setting of a low goal do not achieve results. If the goal is daunting, then that’s normal. And if the goal you set does not amount to something special, then it is a low goal.
Set certain sober deadlines. An example of this goal could be, say, losing 10-15 kg in a month.
Although losing 10 kg in a month may seem difficult, it is not at all. Losing 10-15 kilograms per month is quite possible by changing your diet and lifestyle. But at the same time, it is worth considering that you are not losing excess fat, but just getting rid of weight, including excess fluid.
Because of this, your goal should be fat loss, not weight loss. A harmless amount of fat loss may be 0.5-1 kg per week. Approximately 0.5% body fat per week.
Don't be afraid to set high goals for yourself, the time frame for completing it should be reasonable in order to achieve them within the time frame you set.
